Some time ago, Pradip Mukherji in India sent me an email. As I was recently re-reading that, I thought to myself, Wow, that's just what I've been thinking:
"A Hindu saint named Shankaracharya, who lived around 13 centuries ago said: Brahman is real, Universe is unreal, and Brahman is Universe. These three simple statements come from the pinnacle of realization. Here Brahman means the One Consciousness, One Self, One Source. This Source, this Self manifests as the Universe. Maya (illusion or Divine Hypnosis) creates the sense of separation from the Self.
"Centered in the separation, our relationship with the world is given by our perceptions, and all our perceptions are mind-play. It is through mind that the separation is sustained. Thus, our relationship with the world is not as the world is, but with our projected world: our beliefs, ideals, values, judgments, superstitions, fears, cravings, aversionsÃ" all kinds of conditionings shape this projection. This relationship with the unreal world creates our emotional upheaval, our miseries and sufferings."
Truly. And expressed very succintly.
Everyone sees the world through their own conditioning. For example, Texas suburbanites may be immersed in high school football and think the world has collapsed if their team loses. Another example: teens are usually so engrossed in their teen world of dating and malls and friendships that all emotions they experience on based on that world-view.
About 12 years ago, when I was in the Phillipines, the term "culture-shock" became extremely meaningful. All the people around me were seeing and experiencing the world in a different way than I was - because they grew up with their own set of values and judgements about "the way things should be."
As I travel around the U.S and live in different areas for some time, this Truth is as clear as glass. In every area, people live in a different world - but what's really scary sometimes is that most believe it's the ONLY world and the only RIGHT world. Arizonians think the world is a hot place with little water, and that plants with spikes are "the way things should be." Maine people believe the world is a cold place and that water is plentiful (if not over-abundant.) Environment and cultural habits then affect the way people live and believe.
If one can stand "outside" belief systems and world-views, then one can see that all such things are choices we make. Perhaps, the choices aren't conscious as in "I've lived here all my life. And what's good enough for me is good enough for everybody!"
Nevertheless, everyone has choice. And choice means we have the freedom to live as we wish.
Then I came across Dan Josephs' latest newsletter. And was astounded by it's synchronicity:
A Course in Miracles points out that in this world, we typically identify with our belief systems and personas. Everyone has a unique background, perspective, and set of values - and we often see each other as bundles of these things. Most of us gravitate toward those who share similar views to ours, and away from those who are different.
The problem is that this creates a constant sense of separation. He and I may be somewhat similar, but there are some major areas of disconnection. She and I are a little more aligned. And that guy - wow, forget about it. We have nothing in common.
This happens in subtle and overt ways every day. And it's quite interesting when you have a conflux of wildly different views, as happens at my local coffee shop. Sparks fly. People - including myself - become offended, or otherwise threatened. How can you say that? How can you believe that? It creates quite a bit of conflict.
But the Course encourages us to take a completely different approach. Instead of identifying people with their perspectives and philosophies, says the Course, look beyond all that. Recognize that the person in front of you is like a dreamer having a dream - a dream that says, "I'm separate from you. I'm different in a million different ways." Look past that dream, and recognize the common core that unites you.
As we do this, we "join with the dreamer, not the dream." We don't try to connect by perfectly aligning our perspectives and philosophies. (That would probably be impossible.) Instead, we look past all the flying thoughts, and focus on the spiritual brotherhood that unites us. It is a powerful practice.
Now, this process of focusing-on-the-spiritual-core can be an interesting practice at a coffee shop. But it can be even more powerful when done in deeper relationships. Let me give an example that occurs in counseling.
When someone comes to me for spiritual support, they often come with a tightly-held set of beliefs and attitudes. Sometimes these beliefs and attitudes are producing a sense of disconnection. Instead of reacting to the specifics of their belief system, I try to first look past it all, and focus on the spiritual bond that unites us.
It doesn't really matter to me whether a person considers himself to be a Republican or a Democrat, an agnostic or a religious fundamentalist. It's just not that important to me. If there is an unloving attitude that is causing the person pain, I might point it out, and help them to find an alternative. But my real work is to keep a constant sense of the spiritual connection between us - and between us and everyone else.
In the long run, I find that this is a much more productive approach. It begins to dissolve the sense of separation between all of us. It can open the doors to an ever-expanding "holy relationship" - a true, deep experience of spiritual connection that embraces everyone.
As a parallel to the "dreamer and the dream" theme, A Course in Miracles also introduces the idea of "self-concept versus Self." This is a theme that I've covered in previous writing as well.
The idea here is that each of us tends to form a strong self-concept as we make our way through the world. This is the foundation of our individual "dreams." The bottom line of our self-concept is: "This is who I am, and that's who you areÃ"and perhaps we have some things in common, but not much."
Again, this self-concept creates a sense of separation - and it also prevents us from recognizing the glorious spiritual Self that we really are. Our true, spiritual Self is far beyond any worldly definition. It isn't really a concept at all, but an experience. In order to experience our spiritual Self, we must be willing - at least for brief moments - to relax our grip on our personally-generated self-concepts. Instead of saying:
"I'm a political centrist, and you're not."
"I'm a rock climber, and you're not."
"I'm a spiritual seeker, and you're not."
Ã"we become willing - at least for a moment - to drop all our ideas about ourselves (and others), and receive a sense of our shared spiritual glory. This doesn't mean that we become amorphic non-thinkers without passion or direction. But it does mean that we choose to recognize a deeper truth beneath our personal ideas - the truth of our spiritual connection.
Recently, I noticed that a surprising number of my friends consider themselves to be agnostics or atheists. I actually hadn't been very aware of this until a new friend said, "You and your buddy are an odd pair. You're so into spirituality, and he doesn't believe in God."
I had hardly given it a thought! That was good to see. It showed me that, to some degree at least, I had been joining with the dreamer, not the dream - the person, not the philosophy. That's my goal in all my relationships.
Again, to be clear, I am not suggesting that we abandon our ideas and opinions. Not at all. But while we're sharing our thoughts with each other, we can look past self-concepts to our deeper Selves - past disconnecting philosophies to our underlying connection. This not only facilitates good communication; it also places everything in the right perspective.
As we focus on our shared spiritual connection, we recognize that we're neither alone nor apart - that regardless of our personal beliefs, we're all in this together. That vision can produce a wonderful experience of peace, love, and interpersonal joining.
Dan Joseph
http://www.DanJoseph.com
