IÂ've recently had several conversations about how to be helpful in the world. What is the best way to support our friends and family members Â-- especially those who are struggling? Is empathy always a good thing? How much is "too much" when it comes to helping others? How can we avoid getting overwhelmed?

Those are challenging questions, and the answers may change from situation to situation. However, I wanted to share one central point on this topic that I consider to be important.

While we are trying to be of help in the world, itÂ's essential for us to maintain our own spiritual foundation. Everything else rests on this. We can only be truly supportive to others if we maintain the connection with our own divine Support.

Let me share a couple of metaphors to describe this.

Imagine that youÂ're lounging around by the side of a lake. Suddenly thereÂ's a commotion in the deep part of the lake, and you realize that someone is drowning.

If you jump into the lake, and swim out to grab that person, you may end up getting pulled down by the personÂ's panic. Instead of helping him to shore, you may end up sinking along with him.

A far better approach is to get as close as you can to him Â-- while maintaining your own stability. Perhaps you can run out to the edge of the dock, and throw the person a life preserver or a rope. Perhaps you can grab a boat, or a few flotation devices, and bring them out to him. The point is that you must maintain your own support if you wish to offer him help.

As a second metaphor, a friend of mine recently described an illustration from a counseling handbook. The handbook had an image of a person in a deep hole. In order to help this person, said the book, you shouldnÂ't jump down into the hole with him. If you jump in the hole, then both of you are stuck. Instead, suggested the book, stay on higher ground and offer him a hand or a stick or some other type of support.

The point of both metaphors is this: ItÂ's essential to maintain our own spiritual connection while we try to help others. When we feel that itÂ's time to "recharge our batteries," we need to step back from our efforts to help, and allow ourselves to accept our own Help. Then, when weÂ're ready, we can go back to offering others what we have received.

Dan Joseph
http://www.DanJoseph.com