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Subject(s): General Interest Add to My Group
In my flower garden, it does not seem that the different flowers have opinions about their differences, that one thinks another is too yellow or too red, too flamboyant or too dull. I don't think that the cultivated plants look down on the weeds. Although some species of animals may cast out or kill one whose difference (weakness, injury, or deformity) directly threatens the survival of the rest, others, notably elephants and Canada geese, will take all possible measures to protect weak or injured members of the herd or flock. As humans, while we retain the animals' alertness to the possible danger of difference, we have vastly expanded the notion of what constitutes a threat to our survival. It seems that no difference is too small to trigger off the need to protect oneself from alien beings or groups of beings. Since judgment is such a big part of how we as humans relate to each other, it is no wonder that we often worry that others don't like how we look, what we are wearing, how we speak. Fear of judgment can inhibit us from sharing our creativity and our beliefs. We may particularly fear being in a minority, including those of us who have chosen to be different in our viewpoints, lifestyles, and healing and spiritual practices. Those of you who walk this road know how much pressure there is to conform, to blend into the majority, and how it feels when someone (and often someone you love), says, "Do you mean to tell me that rocks have energy?" or "Someone did some mumbo-jumbo over you and you're channeling healing energy?" When we're confronted by somone's scorn and/or condescension we may feel some slight damage to our self-esteem. Often we use counter judgment to protect ourselves from the threat of another's opinion. We might say or think things such as, "You take 95 pills a day, your health is lousy, and you haven't spoken to your sister in ten years -- and you think I'm making mistakes with my life?" We may feel that the judgment of others injures our feelings of self-esteem. I feel, though, that this can only happen if our self-esteem is already in need of some repair. In other words, we can only be wounded where we are vulnerable. If you feel completely comfortable in and rewarded by your commitment to the wellbeing of animals it won't bother you if someone says you like animals better than people. However if you often think that you really don't like people that much, and that there might be something wrong with you for feeling that way this comment may hurt -- because the remark is a dagger stuck into a wound you've already inflicted on yourself. Judging others also comes from our own self-judgment. As we may judge others before they judge us we may also judge others instead of judging ourselves. Some of you may be familiar with the phrase, "Let him who is without stone cast the first stone." This is not only a good rule, but a strong affirmation that behavior which we judge in others is the thought and/or deed which we secretly (and sometimes unknowingly) judge in ourselves. This isn't always obvious. If you are a worrier you may judge others of the same persuasion because they remind you of an aspect of yourself that you don't like. Sometimes, though, we judge a behavior which we resist in ourselves. I used to judge people who demanded attention, and I was sure I wasn't that way. Self-examination revealed that I had a suppressed desire to be just as obvious and demanding as the people I judged. It's much more comfortable to go on automatic judgment than to discover such things about oneself. If, however, you intend to kick the judgment habit such discoveries are part of withdrawal, and how effectively you manage not to judge yourself is central to the process of releasing judgment in general. So a first step to releasing the hold of judgment is to simply notice who/what you judge, and, when possible, write it down. (This is not possible when driving a car, which is an occasion for many of my judgments.) By doing this, you will train yourself to become even more aware of your judgments, and in time, you can take the opportunity to look for a pattern.
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