Incidents of self-judgment belong on your list, and the process will give you many opportunities to collect them. It will help if you consider yourself to be a detective looking for clues. Instead of judging your judgments be interested in them. Be curious about what you may discover. Tell yourself that your discoveries will help you to be much more open to love in your life.
Once you feel that you have enough data see what patterns you can find, then what they mean. If, for example, you frequently judge people with loud voices, ask yourself if you were ever threatened by this. When you were a child, did it mean an argument? Do you fear that loud people are more powerful than you? Do you have a great desire to shout? Do you feel that you could be more effective if you had a more powerful speaking voice? Or is not volume which concerns you, but your ability to communicate effectively?
With the last possibility you may have come to an answer. You may choose to research ways of improving your communications skills. You may ask a friend to coach you. You may study how people whom you consider effective communicators succeed. And once you've dissected what loud means to you you will be far less likely to judge it.
If you find yourself slipping into the old patterns just notice them. Say to yourself, "Here I am doing judgment." Let it go. As I wrote at the beginning of this article, I am in the early stages of moving this boulder from the path. Initially it felt like an effort, but, as with any exercise, I am becoming increasingly adept at it. I am learning to regard people with tolerance, compassion, and love. The boulder is getting lighter. So am I.
Connie Barrett writes articles on personal/spiritual growth for many publications. She also does counseling and gives a course on the chakras by email. You can see more of her writing at Beyond the Rainbow, (www.rainbowcrystal.com), her website, where she sells a wide variety of products designed to facilitate self-help programs, stress relief, and harmony in your personal environment.
